Sometimes I feel like I just don’t know how to connect with people except superficially. Like I can never do enough. Like I want to do more but I’m not physically able. I want to be what other people need me to be, but ultimately I have to survive and take care of myself and take care of those whose survival depends on me… I don’t hold on to friends well… They just move apart from me, or get tired of me, or I make them angry or something. I don’t know. I just can’t seem to maintain connectivity. I feel like I’m missing some essential ingredient in being a friend… like everyone else gets it and I don’t. And then I think that maybe I just think too much. Which doesn’t really do anything to help the situation. The thinking too much or the thinking that I think too much.
It’s a wonder my head doesn’t explode.
But I was just… Um. I know you know this but. I wish you happy, if your happy is not mine I’m OK with being happy for you and not so much me. Please be happy. Can we be OK?
I’ll pretend. Do we all pretend?
I’ll pretend for you.
What will you do for me?
jealousy in relationships is not a cute trait (◕‿◕✿)
guilting or controlling a partner’s behavior is not cute or romantic (◕‿◕✿)
jealousy is a major factor in and aspect of partner violence and abuse (◕‿◕✿)
don’t romanticize jealousy as though it were a healthy part of relationships (◕‿◕✿)
Jealousy has NOTHING to do with loving a person. Nothing. It has everything to do with not loving yourself.